yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
