nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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