I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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