my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
