I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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