Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
