he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
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Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
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Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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