who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
