my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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