apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
