Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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