Duck Duck Cougar?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
