i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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