We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
