16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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