im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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