just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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