Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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