Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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