1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
