the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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