Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
