Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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