that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
