But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Randomize
