She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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