just come out here and I will go home with you...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
