Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We named our party play list daddy issues
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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