I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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