Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
