My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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