When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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