I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
