Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
