the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Drake has all the answers
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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