Apparently you make a good broom.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
