will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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