why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
