her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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