He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
