i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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