I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's not a walk of shame if you run
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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