it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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