Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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