The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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