do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
