I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
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My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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