Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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