hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I got inside last night via doggy door
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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