Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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