"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
my sisters under your porch take her home
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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