Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You ruined the universe
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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