i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
