What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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