rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize