let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
