I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
