I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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