I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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