I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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