it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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