come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize