But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You can't motorboat a personality
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
