he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
