I wanna passion pit in your ass
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
