Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize