She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
